12: 30pm, sleep is still evading my eyes. I am busy writing my application to the African writer’s community, I click on submit, phew! Finally, I can sleep. I close my eyes and sleep takes me away.
Gbum! Gbum!
I having this nightmare, two guys are in my room, they are beside my bed, I can’t see what they are doing, Wait a minute they are punching me.
” Wake up! Wake up jor! ” One of them says.
They continue punching me to wake up, I push one of them away.
” Ahn! Ahn! Now,” I said.
” See this boy oo, if you don’t co-operate we will shoot you. Oya Face ground”
My face is greeted with a barrel of a gun, the sleep that was impeding my senses has vanished, Jesus! We are being robbed.
” Sorry, Sorry, I thought it was a dream, ” I said.
” Shut up! Joseph the dreamer, where is your Father?”
” My Father is not here, I live alone with my Sister and her Children.”
” Where is your ATM card?”
” I am not up to 18 yet.”
” Where is your phone?”
” I have taken his phone already, ” the other robber said.
” Do you have any money with you?”
I think hard trying to remember where I might have kept my money, I remember it is in the pile of my dirty clothes, they will never think that money can be there.
“No.”
They check my room themselves but they couldn’t find anything.
” Make we go the other room, but first make we tie this guy, ” one of them said.
The clothes that I neatly ironed, in anticipation for work the next day are on the plastic chair beside my bed―they use my shirt to tie my hands. They are about to leave my room, one of the robbers whispered to his colleague.
” Guy! You no tie this guy well.”
He takes my trousers from the chair and ties my legs ― they have left.
There is a power supply tonight, my standing fan is on, I increased it to the highest before I slept. Fear has crept into my heart and my lungs― I can’t breathe and my heart is pounding way too fast―I am drenched in sweat, not even the fan can stop me from sweating.
Okay, say the prayer to Saint Michael the Archangel.
” Saint Michael the Archangel….”
Words have deserted me, damn! I can swear I always said that prayer without stuttering.
The Other Rooms
I was about to say my daily 3:00 am when someone barged into my room.
” Jesus!” I said.
One of them hit me with the handle of the gun.
” Keep quiet!”
” Where is your ATM card? “
” It is there, ” I said pointing to the table.
” What is the pin?” They ask.
” I must tell you, I have only 100 naira left in my account.”
They drop my Card.
“Okay, what is in the kitchen?”
” Nothing we haven’t restocked yet.”
One of them takes the sachet of pure water on the floor and drinks the small quantity left inside.
They move to our maid’s room.
Kum! Kum!
They knock on our maid’s door, she thinks it me her madam ― she doesn’t bother ask.
” Jesus!”
She is pushed to the floor.
I am seeing fear all over her face, one of the robbers tore her skirt and was about to shatter her dignity when I rushed in.
” Oga, Abeg na small pikin, pity am, ” I said.
The other robber signals his colleague to leave her alone.
Where is Joseph when robbers are in the house? Later you will see him claiming man of the house.
” Where is your car key?” They asked.
I gave it to them― if they carry this car I am dead.
” Can you drive?”
” Yes, but I am still a learner.”
They collect the car key and remove my car battery― they make away with our TV, my car battery, and our phones. I just noticed they removed the security light outside.
I am very angry that Joseph was asleep throughout the robbery, I go to his room to berate him.
” Joseph!”
” Yes.”
When I am opened the door, I started laughing immediately, there was Joseph was tied on his bed like an Egyptian mummy.
Joseph
I can’t feel my hands or my legs, it is as if they were cut off from my body.
Joseph!
I can hear my name, it is my sister’s voice. I just hope she is okay, she comes into my room and starts laughing. Did she inhale laughing gas from the robbers?
” I thought you were asleep when the robbers came. Thank God nothing happened to any of us.”
” Mehn! This is the first time I have experienced robbery, ” I said.
” Do you have any money with you? ” my sister said.
” Yes, there is a five hundred naira note in my pocket.”
She unties me, I quickly check the pile of my dirty clothes for the money, God! It is gone, these men did their due diligence after all.
Victor writes 